


I'm an Ember baby...(You burn me from the inside out)

by Blackqueenofhearts



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Also he's in love for the first time, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst and Humor, Finn just wants to live his life, He didn't ask for the weird stuff, reluctant hero Finn, someone help him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:52:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackqueenofhearts/pseuds/Blackqueenofhearts
Summary: In which Finn finds a weird cat, a strange café, and a mysteriously beautiful man that he DID.NOT. FALL.FOR. AT. FIRST. SIGHT.He didn't.He swears.Then strange shit happens.





	I'm an Ember baby...(You burn me from the inside out)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ya'll.  
> Don't know what I'm doing. Hooray.

“Why, Finn, why.....?” Finn muttered to himself as he found himself trudging home through a freaking blizzard after a rather unsuccessful music gig. He wondered what possessed him to even go outside in this weather....even after the weather forecasts foretold very shitty weather and that anyone with any common sense should stay inside where it was nice and warm....and toasty. He would literally sell his guitar for a cup of hot chocolate right now....--- that should be a sign of how desperate he was right now.  
His music was entire life....well,--aside from the normal responsibilities such as work and school.  
......But his music was the only thing that was entirely his.....something that he’d discovered all on his own after he escaped the First Order. Extremists cults were not big on freedom of expression.....But his music was also missing something. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what.....but Maz had looked at him with knowing eyes and told him, He’d figure it out.  
What ever that meant.  
But back to the problem at hand.  
Finn was currently trudging through a freezing blizzard, with his guitar strapped to his back, and his fingers tucked into his armpits. He caught a glimpse of himself as he passed a shop window in the downtown shopping district of the small city he lived in. He was a tall figure hunched in on himself, his dreadlocks pulled back in a ponytail ( You couldn’t see the purple streak he dyed a in his hair....he found he liked the color purple. And once again....freedom of expression people. The first thing he did was grow out that awful military buzzcut the First Order made him keep it in.) The toboggan on his head was covered in frost and he was wearing a worn....but very warm jacket.  
And all would good, great, and all--- if he wasn’t walking through a freaking blizzard. He hated the cold, hated the way it seeped into his bones, it reminded him of the chilly hallways in the First Order. How no matter what you did-- you never seemed to get warm.  
But Finn didn’t have to worry about that anymore. Or at least he hoped he wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. He’d run or die before he’d go back to that hellhole.  
He was his own man now.  
His own, freezing man.  
The first ever documented case of a literal human ice sculpture. All because he wanted to play in Maz’s almost empty club.....because he had a horrid case of strange fright....but baby steps right? He’d only escaped the First Order a couple of years ago and he was still getting used to the fact that in order to get some recognition as a musician---- people had to look at him. Like--- sorta, alot of people.  
And it takes some getting used to, okay?  
Somewhere out there.....Rey was cackling at him. Because only he would brave a freaking blizzard than face his stage fright.  
And speaking of Rey--- she wasn’t answering her phone, or at her apartment. She was probably shacked up with her rich sugar mama Jess Pava.....braving out the blizzard in front of fireplace or something cozy and romantic....or knowing them....playing strip mario cart.  
Loser has to take off their clothes.  
Finn had been down to his boxers once before he called it quits. He loved Rey like a sister....and only like a sister. But she took serious delight in making Finn’s life as awkward as possible sometimes. But hey....it made him get over alot of his insecurities. It made him sit back, relax, and enjoy the booze........  
But anyway.  
Finn was just about ready to lay down on sidewalk and die...when he saw it. His oasis in the dessert.....the blizzard? Does that analogy work in cold weather?  
Whatever it was called...probably heaven at this point. That’s when he saw what looked to be a shop open in this shitty weather. Finn couldn’t exactly see what type of shop it was.....just that there was warm, amber light shining through the window. It looked warm and cozy....and Finn really wanted to be warm in cozy. He wanted to curl up in a couple of quilts, turn the heat on, and not come out for a couple of days. Maybe drink a cup or two of hot chocolate.....and Finn was still quite a bit far from home. All the other shops were closed....probably thinking that reasonable people wouldn’t be out in this weather. And hey....Finn was alot of things.  
But nobody ever claimed he was reasonable.  
Maybe whoever was in there would take pity on his poor, frozen soul. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? The shop owner could be an axe murderer and no one would ever see Finn again?  
Finn’s mind immediately started escalating the worse case scenarios until he’d stopped walking and just stood in the middle of the sidewalk. Like an idiot. In the middle of an gotdamn blizzard.  
It was either freeze to death.....or possibly get murdered?  
Finn shivered as another freezing wind chilled him to his bones. So....new plan. Walk up to the shop, be cautious, and if whoever was running it gave off any murdery vibes.....get the hell out of dodge. That’s assuming they even let Finn in or something like that.  
So...check out the shop and go from there. Sounded like a solid plan to Finn.  
And just as he got ready to start walking again.......he heard it.  
A sound so soft and so pitiful....that Finn stopped in his tracks again. And this time it was reluctantly.....because it sounded like some kind of small animal. And leaving a small animal in this weather would just be cruel.....but Finn could not afford a pet. His loft apartment didn’t even allow for pets....and if it was small and cute-- then Finn would be put in the awkward position to keep it. Because who can say no to small, cute animals? Certainly not Finn.  
So Finn decided that he should just leave it....save himself the headache and just leave the poor creature.....to die in a blizzard.  
Finn sighed as the small sound seemed to be coming from the dark alley he was standing in front of. (Really, who stands in front of dark alley while being lost in thought. It was like he was just asking to be murdered.) He was fighting a losing battle with his inner asshole....and the asshole in him was losing as he turned and strode into the alley...like this was an everyday occurrence. He’d only made it a couple of steps into the alley when he found the source of the sound. A small orange and white kitten was curled up against a dumpster in a lump of dirty, brown material.  
As he got closer.....he noticed it was in pretty bad shape.  
It had one eye, a chewed up ear, a crooked tail....and matted fur. In short, it looked like it had been through hell. And as Finn approached it hissed at him.  
Finn imagined it saying, _Back off asshole._  
Finn stopped about a foot from the small creature and held up gloved hands.  
“Hey, hey.....” Finn said in supplication. Finn was holding conversations with animals now. Yep. good. great. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m here to help....unless you want me to leave. Then I’ll be happy to let you freeze to death in an alley.”  
Finn dropped down to one knee in front of the creature. Finn knew what it felt like to be small, and lost, and untrusting. Yes, he understood this kitten perfectly. However, they were in the middle of a blizzard and time was of the essence.  
But the kitten certainly wasn‘t making it easy on him. Everytime Finn reached or it....it hissed and scrated at him. And Finn wouldn‘t be surprised if was being cussed out in cat. Finn couldn’t coax the cat to come closer either.  
He sighed in exasperation.  
“Okay let’s make a deal. Let’s both get someplace safe and warm....” Finn says, “ And after the storm. You’re free to leave if you want. How about that? There’s a shop nearby...and I don’t know if they allow animals in. But I’m willing to smuggle you in if you stay quiet.....and don’t scratch me. Or I’ll throw you back into the blizzard..... Because I do not want cat rabies. Deal?”  
The kitten seemed to consider him for a moment...before seeming to yowl it’s assent.  
_Fine_ , it seemed to purr unhappily, _But I still don’t like you_.  
“It’s mutual.” Finn muttered as he unzipped the front of his jacket ( gotdammit it was cold!)and tucked the kitten safely before zipping it back up so it could share it’s body warmth. Finn was about to stand up and leave when the kitten started yowling and squirming and throwing a fit. “What?! Are you a claustrophobic cat....because if I keep my jacket open we’ll both freeze to death!”  
The kitten popped it’s head out the top of his jacket and starting scolding him in cat. Finn couldn’t make heads or tails of the problem ‘till the kitten looked pointedly at the dirty brown material it was found with.  
“Oh...come on!” Finn yelped as he looked at the dirty material. “That thing’s disgusting!”  
The kitten kept throwing a fit until Finn finally relented and tucked the dirty material in a roll beneath his arm.  
“If I catch cat rabies from this...” Finn tells the cat. “I’m blaming you.”  
_You’ll live_ , the cat seems to purr as Finn turned and jogged out the alley. He tried to ignore the stiffness in his limbs as he jogged towards the shop. As he got closer....he noticed it was some kind of cafe’.  
Please be open. Please be open. Please be open. Finn prays as he jogs towards the shop and whoops in joy as that seems to be the case. He doesn’t look or think about anything as he yanks the door open and tumbles through the door in a flurry of snow. It takes a minute for the warmth to sink in....but when it does....Finn could dance for joy.  
But he doesn’t.....because he’s a horrible dancer and he wouldn’t willingly do that to anyone.  
“Uh.....you all right there buddy?” an amused voice says from in front of him and Finn snaps out of his internal monologue as he looks towards the sound.  
And his heart immediately stops....because the man in front of him is so gotdamn beautiful that Finn literally can’t breathe for a moment. He stands there silently suffocating as the man raises an eyebrow at him....and Finn can’t.... he can’t.....  
“Buddy?” The man says again and this time there’s a bit of alarm in his tone as Finn snaps out of his wide eyed stare and takes a much needed deep breath.  
“I’m good.” Finn says abruptly, “ I just needed a minute to thaw out and silently rejoice that I’m out of that hellstorm.”  
The man’s eyebrow raises a little further as he stands behind the counter in a white button down shirt with the sleeve rolled up, and a bright orange apron. He has golden tan skin...the natural kind. Not the unnatural tanning bed thing that some people do..... he’ll never understand that. The man has wild curls...as if he just rolled out of bed and a bit of stubble on his cheeks and he’s older than Finn....but not ancient....and Finn....and Finn...can’t get over how beautiful he is.  
“Yeah. I know my hot chocolate’s good....” The man said, “ But it’s a bit unreasonable to come get it in this weather.”  
“Well.....that explains me perfectly.” Finn laughs, “I’m the most unreasonable man you’ll ever meet over hot chocolate.”  
He holds his midsection gently so he doesn’t squish the suspiciously quiet cat in his jacket, (It’s not dead, is it? Finn really doesn’t want to be carrying around a dead cat. Should he check on it?) and shoulders the guitar case on his back as he moves towards the counter.  
He looks up at the menu board. Poe’s Delights.  
He wondered if the man in front of him is Poe...because he certainly was delightul. Finn frowns at the thought, what is wrong with him. He’s never, ever, ever felt this way about anyone before....and right now Finn’s doing everything in his power not to become a flaming mess in front of this beautiful man. Whose watching him very intently when Finn looks back at him. This close Finn can see the dark rings under his eyes.......as if he had trouble sleeping or he was sickly. There was also a paleness to his skin.....it was hard to tell with his skin tone but it was still there....and he was also a bit on the thin side. So Finn was going to go with his sickly theory.  
But still so beautiful.  
So he orders the Hot Tamale Hot Chocolate because it sounded really cool....and weird. Two of Finn’s favorite things...and before he can somehow sabotage himself by saying something embarrassing.  
“It’s on the house Buddy.” The man says with a smirk and a wink as Finn goes to pay. “Anyone who braves this storm deserves a free cup of hot chocolate.”  
Finn beams and Poe watches him a moment before shaking his head at him with a chuckle. He begins to hum as he makes Finn’s order as Finn places his guitar case gently on the floor and sits at a stool at the counter and watches the man with rapt attention. Finn notices that he keeps glancing out the shop window with a sharp frown twisting his features.  
“What’s wrong?” Finn asks before he can help himself. He doesn’t like seeing the man upset...it twists something in his guts uncomfortably.  
“I lost my cat.” The man murmurs quietly, “More like she ran away for a bit. She does that from time to time.”  
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Finn says sorta sincerely. There’s a plan forming in his mind about getting rid of the devil cat that’s started squirming in his jacket. “What’s your cat like? I’m Finn by the way.”  
Not quite a smooth introduction...but it’ll do.  
“I’m Poe.” He snorts as he continues making Finn’s order. He’s adding something that smells really spicy to it.  
“She’s an orange and white tabby cat.....and a total angel.” Poe laughs fondly, “ She’s a kitten right now. She’s got one eye,and a crooked tail and messed up ear.....but she’s the sweetest creature to ever walk the earth. Her names BB-8”  
Finn snorts.  
”Why.” Finn says  
”Why what?” Poe asks as he puts marshmallows in Finn‘s cup.  
”Why would you name your cat BB-8?" Finn says dead panned.  
Poe grins at him and Finn’s heart literally tries to crawl out of his chest onto the counter to declare it’s love for Poe. Leaving Finn dead....totally dead.  
“Because her name’s Bellarosa Beatrice the eighth.” Poe says proudly.  
Finn snorts again. And this time with laughter. He can’t help himself.....what is up with that name.  
Poe frowns at him. It’s totally not cute. It’s totally not cute at all and Finn is not about to have a heart attack.  
“Hey. I thought really hard to come up with the name.” Poe says defensively.  
“Maybe next time....” Finn hedges, “ Don’t think so hard?”  
The corners of Poe’s mouth twitch as if he’s fighting a smile....but the frown stays firmly on his face.  
“I will make you pay for this hot chocolate.” Poe says pouring some more spicy stuff into Finn’s cup, “....if you keep making fun of my naming skills.”  
“It’s a very wonderful name.” Finn says solemnly without hesitation. “ You’re very talented.”  
Poe bursts out laughing and Finn’s heart starts doing the crawling thing again. He tries in vain to get it to settle down-- but its dead set on trying to kill him. So Finn decided to change course....something else that’ll make Poe smile. He wants to make Poe smile all the time.  
“So the thing is....” Finn ploughs on as Poe places the cup in front of him, “ I found this devil cat in an alley on the way over here. And I just want it on record that she wasn’t sweet. At all.”  
And that’s when the kitten--BB-8 apparently, starts yowling at Finn from his jacket and Finn rolls his eyes. He unzips his jacket carefully and looks down at the kitten whose squirming to get out.  
“I don’t know what you’re saying but I’m pretty sure it’s rude.” Finn says as the kitten jumps from his jacket onto the counter. (That has to be unsanitary. He found her by a dumpster for goodness sake.) The kitten saunters over to Poe. ” You‘re welcome by the way.”  
“BB-8!” Poe says happily as he bundles the little ray of darkness in his arms...and Finn’s not jealous--- he’s definitely not jealous of a cat. “ You’re back!”  
The kitten purrs sweetly at Poe and Poe laughs.  
“Be nice BB-8.” Poe chuckles, “He brought you home.”  
“That’s right.” Finn agrees. “ I brought you home even after you hissed, scratched, cussed, and made me bring in this disgusting whatever-it-is.”  
He holds up the nasty brown material in two fingers and prays he doesn’t catch some cat disease from it.  
“My jacket!” Poe says happily and Finn stares at him dead panned. Poe laughs again at Finn’s expression. “It’s definitely seen better days.”  
“Like when exactly?” Finn says as he places the jacket on the stool beside him. “Because I think it gave up the ghost a while back.”  
Poe chuckles fondly.  
“It’s my lucky jacket....” He says almost shyly. He looks at Finn through his eyelashes and Finn’s heart stutters a bit. “ It brought back BB-8...and it brought you so.....” Poe says placing Finn’s hot chocolate in front of him. “ So it might have some luck still.”  
Finn’s head snapped up to look at Poe and......oh.  
Oh.  
They continued to stare at each other for a moment before BB-8 yowled something most likely rude from the sound of it. And directed at Finn.  
Finn narrowed his eyes at the cat. It was trying to sabotage him. He just knew it.  
“No one asked you BB-8.” Finn says on impulse. He’d been trying to decide for a little while why this cat insists on arguing with him.  
And Poe laughs.  
Full and warm......and happy.  
Well....Finn’ll put up with anything if it makes Poe happy.  
What the hell is wrong with him?  
* * * *

“You’re in love dumbass.” Rey tells him two days later as she leans over the bar to tease him during their shift at Maz’s. Finn rolls his eyes at her. There’s no way he was in love with Poe....no matter how beautiful and wonderful he was. He’d just met the man a couple of days ago.....and spent a couple of hours chatting with him as they rode out the blizzard together in Poe’s cozy cafe. BB-8 (still a weird name for a cat) had curled up in Poe’s lap as Poe gave him cup after cup of free hot chocolate. And on top of that--- cookies. Free Freaking Cookies! As much as Finn wanted-- all because Finn had saved his very bossy cat and brought home his disgusting jacket.  
Finn had been warm down to his very core as he left the next morning-- Poe and him curled up in opposite booths and chatting the night away.  
The strangeness of the evening hadn’t hit Finn until much later-- when he was curled up in his lonely bed at home and his thoughts had been fuzzy with thoughts of Poe.  
“No.” Finn said matter-of-factly as he wiped down the bar counter until he could see his reflection. He was studiously avoiding Rey’s knowing, smug, grin. “I’m not in love. No one falls in love that fast. That’s just ridiculous.”  
“Jess did.” Rey said leaning further on the counter. “ She said she took one look at me covered in grease-- and fell instantly in love. It happens.”  
“Well.......your girlfriend’s insane.” Finn stated abruptly. He stopped wiping the counter and frowned at Rey. “Do not tell her I said that. She’s terrifying enough as it is without her making my life a living hell.”  
Rey laughed fondly at him. They were both supposed to be working-- but the day shift was always rather slow. Maz’s bar and grill didn’t really come alive until the night shift anyway. It was that sorta establishment....and Finn was just vanilla enough that no one wanted to corrupt him.  
He was a precious cinnamon roll after all. A cinnamon roll that could kill people-- but no one had to know that.  
“What’s the name of his shop again?” Rey asked for the fifth time that evening. And Finn found himself frowning as he struggled to remember the name of it. And that was the weird part of it-- he’d gone home after that evening with Poe-- when the streets were still cold and icy but in no way in blizzard conditions. He’d played his guitar for a bit-- trying to recapture the feeling of Poe’s laughter.  
How it all felt....and it surprising didn’t turn out as shitty as he expected.  
But then when he curled up in his bed-- and tried to recall his evening with Poe. The fuzziness set it--- he remembered Poe in blazing color. He was larger than life in his mind. But all the little things-- like the name of his shop and it’s location-- it all became a little blurry.  
Well. A lot blurry if he’s being honest with himself.  
“Can’t remember.” He mutters under his breath hoping Rey wouldn’t hear him. Of course she did hear him-- and immediately started cackling at him.  
“Typical.” Rey laughs at him. “ You at least remember where his shop was located right?”  
They stared at eachother while Finn remained silent. He figured at this point-- it was best to just stop talking? That was a solid plan right? It gave him a chance to not put his foot in his mouth. Rey frowns at him.  
“Really?!” She says incrediously. She grabs a handful of straws from a dispenser nearby and starts throwing them at him. One by one. ”You can‘t remember where you met the man you fell in love with at first sight, and you can‘t remember the name of shop or where you met him--”  
“Hey!” Finn yelps as he covers his face defensively.  
“And I bet you don’t even know his last name so you can try to look him up!” Rey yells throwing the last straw at him. “Is there anything you do remember Finn?”  
Finn opens and closes his mouth.  
“ He has a very bitchy cat.” He says matter-of-factly. BB-8 if he remembers correctly.  
“You’re hopeless.” Rey says throwing up her arms and walking away. “ If you never see this man again-- it’s your own damn fault! That’s why you ask for people’s number Finn! For cases just like this!”  
“Yeah, well.....” Finn calls after her and then promptly gives up. He’s got nothing. And Rey is right-- he is hopeless. “Whatever.”  
Finn goes back to wiping the counter and tries not to be sad about the fact that even the memory of Poe is just starting to blurr at the edges.  
* * * *  
Two weeks pass.  
Finn can’t remember what Rey was mad about him-- and Rey can’t quite remember either. She’s still pretending to be irritated out of spite now-- and the fact that she get to boss Finn around while she does it.  
Finn lets her-- because Rey was the first person he met and looked at him like he was a person. The one who knows who he really is and where he came from and how he didn’t even have a name for the longest time. How he used to be a storm trooper in the infamous extremist First Order cult. Rey was a scavenger when they met in Jakku, a skinny, beautiful, clever, wild thing. Strong and brave-- and for a little while Finn was in love with her.  
Neither of them had homes or families-- and then they met Han Solo when they stole his car The Millenium Falcon ( A very extravagant name in Finn’s opinion.) and took them in for a bit, fed them, clothed them, and set them up at Maz’s until they could stand on their own two feet. Until recently-- Rey and Finn had roomed together-- but them Rey met the intimidating Jessica Pava one afternoon when their shitty car broke down and Jess pulled over to help. Jess and Rey bickered over the best way to fix the car, kept bickering even as they fixed it, and the next thing Finn knew they were making out against the trunk of the car.  
Jessica Pava was a very successful aeronautical engineer who designed machinery for NASA and the government. So she whisked Rey off claiming that his grease monkey of an adopted sister was her soulmate and Rey pretty much lived with her now. But not before Jess bought Finn and Rey’s old apartment and let Finn live in it almost rent free. She claimed the only reason she did it was because Rey would not leave him behind-- but Jess was not letting him come live with them. (Not that he wanted too-- and Finn could take care of himself, thank you very much,) So Jess figured the only way to break the stalemate was to buy Finn’s apartment, and so it didn’t seem to much like charity-- made him pay her fifty dollars a month which he gave to Rey at the first of every month.  
Finn wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth and accepted the deal--(It helped his financial situation a lot.) And wished Rey happiness and told her not to get knocked up before the wedding.  
Rey had punched him in the arm as she blushed at the possibility of having Jess’s baby-- even though it was biologically impossible. Wouldn’t stop her from trying.  
So Finn went to work, took classes at the local community college, and worked on his music. It was a strange hobby for him-- he’d learned how to play the guitar rather quickly. Maz heard him singing as he washed the dishes on evening and said he’d had a gift and that he better not waste it. Rey said he a beautiful voice-- but his songs needed a little something more to them. She was the only one that Finn would willingly perform for-- and Maz suggested-- or rather ordered that he sing his stuff during the deadest part of the day on his days off to get used to the idea of performing.  
Maz never asked about his past-- but she seemed to know anyway. Said he had the eyes of someone she once knew.  
And so Finn continued to live his life. He was about to go grocery shopping one afternoon when he stepped out of his apartment and was met with an unlikely visitor.  
“BB-8?!”Finn said incrediously as he locked his front door and the little hell ball sat on the front stoop of his apartment. Her crooked tail swishing back and forth as she peered at him suspiciously with her one eye. She looked much better than the last time they met. Still. “What’s with that look? Why are you looking at me like that? I haven’t even done anything to you.”  
BB-8 seemed to huff at him before turning on her heels to walk away. She looked over her shoulder at him in irritation.  
_You coming?_ She seemed to purr.  
“Say please.” Finn said just to annoy her. She can’t just come to his place of residence and expect him to follow her. He was a grown man for goodness sake. He would not be bossed around by a cat. How did he know this cat again?  
_Come on jackass_ , was the reply that Finn seemed to receive. He rolled his eyes but obeyed the small, evil creature. Why not? His grocery shopping could wait. He could just go hungry for next week. It’s not like he needed food to survive. No biggie right?  
Finn followed the cat and made snide remarks through winding back alley’s and hoped he could find his way back home. He couldn’t make heads or tails of BB-8‘s destination until he found himself in front of a cafe.  
Poe’s Delights.  
oh.  
Oh.  
Finn couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face as he pulled the door open and let BB-8 walk in first-- ‘cause he was a gentleman. And not because she hissed at him- and saw Poe at the counter having a serious conversation with a lady at the counter. They seemed to be talking-- so Finn glanced around the empty shop and Finn used that time to steel his heart before wandering up to the counter and looking in the sweets case. He was gonna be cool and suave today. Totally smoothe.  
Oh sweet mother of---was that a tripple fudge brownie? It was HUGE! It was practically a small cake. Finn would probably die of happiness if he ate that. He definitely wanted to eat that.  
“Finn?” Poe’s voice said from in front of him. Finn snapped his gaze up-- and gotdammit-- to close. To close. Finn was gonna go into cardiac arrest at the sight of Poe leaning over the sweets counter on his forearms with a very surprised look on his face. But he looked delighted for some reason-- so Finn was happy. “Buddy-- what are you doing here?”  
And Finn was at a loss for words again.  
Poe was just as beautiful as last time-- even if the dark smudges under his eyes looked much worse. Finn wanted to run his hands through those wild curls. He was wondering how the hell he could ever forget Poe.  
So he just pointed at the huge triple chocloate fudge brownie.  
“That.” He said without taking his eyes off Poe. His voice gone a bit hoarse. “ I’m here for that.”  
Poe looks at the brownie and cocks and eyebrow and then looks back at Finn. “....You’re here--- for the brownie?”  
He looks genuinely confused at this point. And this is a cafe’ right-- it’s got all the hallmarks of a cafe’. People come to cafe’s to eat, drink, and leech off the wifi right?  
Finn shrugs.  
“And quite possibly for the company as well.” Finn says nonchalantly. Like this wasn’t a big deal at all. Like he was totally cool, suave, and charming. If only Poe knew the truth.  
And was that a faint hint of a blush on Poe’s cheeks. Score. Fucking score.  
“Oh. And I found your rude cat again.” Finn teases, “ Does that mean the brownie’s free?”  
“No.” Poe snorts. “Just because you said my cat was rude.....and I allready spoiled you last time remember? Free hot chocolate and cookies all night remember?”  
Finn grins as he leans over the counter. And the distance between their face decreases as he begins to invade Poe’s personal bubble.  
“Spoil me again.” He says charmingly, “And I’ll be happy to stay the night again.”  
Poe chokes on air.  
“Is that all it takes? Free hot cholocate and cookies?” Poe laughs--- looking confused and delighted all at the same time.  
Finn shrugs.  
“Hot chocolate. Cookies. You.” Finn says still smiling. “It’s kind of a package deal.”  
And Poe was definitely blushing as he pulled back, cleared his throat, and got out Finn’s order.  
“For here or to go.” Poe said shyly, looking at Finn through his eyelashes. Not just shy....but a bit uncertain about something. Whatever it was-- Finn wouldn’t dwell on it to much. He was just happy he could make Poe blush. He’d be happy if he could make anyone blush.  
“For here.” Finn said as he zeroed in on the chocolate cake. He didn’t want to put any pressure on Poe so he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and looked back at him with a grin. “ So.....how much?”  
Poe was watching him quizzically.  
“You’re actually gonna pay for it?” Poe said confused. “ Not gonna trade?”  
Finn frowned at Poe. Now totally confused. But that was normal for him-- escaping the First Order had left him confused about a lot of things that most people took for granted. But he always winged it and muddled through it. Apparently he was charming and naive enough to be adorable-- and it often got him a free pass on alot of things.  
He hoped that was the case now.  
“Uh, yeah......” Finn hedged. “ Isn’t that usually how business transactions work? I give you money. You give me the brownie?”  
Finn leaned forward and considered Poe’s words.  
“Are you saying there’s another way for me to get this brownie?” He asks as he watches Poe’s carefully. He tilts his head to take in Poe’s suddenly wary demeanor...as if he doesn’t quite want to answer him. Poe’s frown suddenly looks very, very, vulnerable and scared. Of what....Finn doesn’t quite know. But he doesn’t want Poe to be upset. So he shrugs and grins again. “Or I could just pay for the brownie. Keep it simple. How much?”  
Poe seems to breathe a sigh of relief and all the tension escapes his body. Finn notices the change in his body language. He went from tense and rigid to loose and relaxed in thirty seconds flat.  
“Three dollars and fifty cents.” And Finn hands him a five and watches as Poe slides the plate with the brownie across to him as he makes change. And the brownie is huge...and wonderful......and Finn hasn’t even eaten it yet.  
“Are you just gonna stare it.....or are you gonna eat it.” Poe jokes.  
“Just give me a moment to bask in it’s glory. ‘Cause it’ll be demolished in five minutes.” Finn says breathing in the chocolately aroma. And that’s one thing that Finn has yet to get used too-- the wonder of sweet things. He’s lived off plain, boring meals for most of life-- so eating sweet things has always been sort of a religious experience for him. He takes a forkful of the brownie....and moans,  
What. The. Fuck.  
This is....the best thing.....he’s ever eaten.  
He looks up at Poe with wide eyed wonder.....who looks to be amused.....and something else. Something not quite so innocent.  
“Did you make this?” Finn asks in wonder-- because if Poe got any more perfect.....he was gonna be sick. Sick with love. joy. Happy feelings.  
“Yeah.” Poe says watching Finn eat with a content look. Finn chewed his brownie thoughtfully as he watched Poe as well.  
“So hypothetically speaking....” Finn said as he continued to eat his brownie. “What could I have traded for this brownie? Quid Pro-Pro. What would you have wanted?”  
Poe tilts his head at Finn as if considering him. Then he smirked-- and gotdamn that smirk was lethal.  
“I would’ve wanted a kiss.” He said simply-- and Finn’s brownie suddenly went down the wrong pipe-- and he was choking on heaven. Poe slapped him on the back as he tried to cough up his lungs. When he could finally breathe again-- he gave Poe an affronted look.  
“What?! Are you serious?” Finn said leaning over the counter to glare at Poe. “ You mean I would’ve gotten to kiss you.....and gotten this slice of awesomeness! Why didn’t you tell me?!”  
Poe grabbed a rag and started wiping the counter while humming to himself as if Finn hadn’t spoken. But the smirk on his face showed that he was quite pleased with himself for some reason. He glanced at Finn over his shoulder as turned to clean his expresso machine.  
“Because it’s not that kind of shop Finn.” Poe says matter-of-factly. “People don’t come here asking what I want.”  
Finn stared at Poe opened mouth. He was still stuck on the fact that he missed out on a golden opportunity to kiss Poe. He’d probably regret this to his dying day....but something about Poe’s words struck him as strange.  
“Not that kind of shop?” Finn questioned. “ What kind of shop is this?”  
It looked like a cafe’ to him.  
But then he remembered how he forgot all about it once he left it. It didn’t happen all at once-- it was a gradual thing-- something so gradual that he didn’t even notice it once it was gone. It was only BB-8....Poe’s weird cat that allowed him to remember. He watched as Poe purposely didn’t answer him.  
“Are you gonna tell me?” He asked as Poe continued his cleaning.  
“Do you wanna know?” Poe asked in return. And something about his tone-- the way he said it-- bothered Finn. It was almost as if his opinion didn’t matter on the subject. Like he had no choice in the matter.  
“Yes.” Finn answered.  
Poe exhaled reluctantly. “ Well--”  
“But do you want to tell me?” Finn interrupted before Poe could explain himself. He wanted to know-- he desperately wanted to know-- anything that had to do with Poe he wanted to know-- but only if Poe wanted it. He had no idea what was going on right now, why Poe was being so weird and cryptic-- but what did he know? He used to be a StromTrooper. He was used to weird, cryptic, control freaks who expected their orders to be followed without question.  
Poe tensed for a moment.  
“No.” He said.  
And that was enough for Finn.  
“Okay then.” He said with a shrug as he went back to eating his brownie, “You don’t have to tell me. Now or Never. Whatever you want.”  
Poe didn’t answer as he continued his cleaning. He kept his back to Finn-- but Finn saw the tenseness ease out of him. He startled a bit as BB-8 suddenly jumped and settled in his lap. Finn looked down and cocked an eyebrow at the cat. BB-8 stared up at him as if daring him to say something--and Finn was tempted. He was so tempted-- but he was gonna be the bigger person. Er, the only person really--BB-8 was a cat.  
Then a thought occurred to him.  
“Soooooooooo........” Finn said staring at Poe’s back through the silence that had settled over them. He saw Poe tense again. “Is that kiss deal still on the table? Or did it expire when I paid for the brownie?”  
Poe laughed and looked at Finn over his shoulder with hooded eyes.  
“It’s expired for today.” Poe enunciated carefully. “You lost your chance when you paid for the brownie. Maybe next time, eh?”  
Finn blinked.  
Next time?  
Next time. There was gonna be a next time. The grin that spread across his face felt like it was gonna unhinge his jaw. He still had a chance to kiss Poe. Maybe not today....but tomorrow. Not tomorrow. He had class, and work....and Rey time. So next week? That seemed so far away. The wait would probably kill him.  
“ Sounds like a deal to me.” He said in a strangled voice.  
“Sure. If you remember that is.” Poe said a bit smug. And a bit sad. A strange combination.  
Finn frowned.  
“How could I forget?” Finn asked. There was no way he was forgetting this. This was the opportunity of an lifetime-- kissing Poe. He could live to be a hundred with one kiss alone.  
But Poe just smiled sadly at him as he continued on with his work.  
“You’d be surprised buddy.” He said quietly. “ You’d be surprised.”  
“Well....that’s not gonna happen.” Finn said firmly. There was no way it was gonna happen.  
* * * *

Finn wanted to bang his head against. the. wall.  
If he had to sit here one more second and watch Rey and Jess be....gross. He was gonna implode. His guts were gonna fly everywhere and splatter the entire establishment. They were currently apart of Maz’s dinner crowd.....Finn and Rey surprisingly having the rare day off....at the exact same time. So of course Rey said-- demanded-- that they hang out.  
Of course Finn agreed.  
He didn’t have a choice-- Rey hit him with the puppy dog eyes. He wasn’t prepared for it-- she was usually so fierce, strong, and unstoppable-- that it was an instant K.O that Finn couldn’t handle it. To tell the truth-- they hadn’t been hanging out as much lately. It wasn’t something that either of them did on purpose-- it was that suddenly their lives were taking different directions.  
Rey handed in her two weeks notice at Maz’s-- and was offered a job at Han Solo’s mechanic shop. It was clear across the city and closer to the apartment she shared with Jess. Finn was sad that she was leaving-- and happy for her at the same time. Rey was genius when it came to machinery-- Finn remembered when he’d come back to apartment some nights and just seen random shit taken apart.  
Rey just couldn’t help herself.  
And Rey deserved only the best things-- and if Finn saw less of her in the process-- it wouldn’t mean he would love her any less.  
“ You allright there kid?” Jess asked her as she downed her shot of vodka. straight. She was staring at him in that intense way she always had about her. She was a tiny thing-- tinier than Rey-- but where Rey was a sandstorm ripping through the desert--  
Jess was a fricking hurricane. You could only watch helpless as she ploughed through your life. Truthfully, she scared Finn a little bit. He didn’t want to get on her badside-- ever. But she was good to Rey-- real good to Rey-- so he could deal with a small amount of terror.  
Finn looked down at his glass of coke. He wasn’t real big on drinking--but Jess and Rey drank like sailors home from sea.  
He shrugged.  
Something was bothering him....again.  
It was annoying. It felt like he was forgetting something really important.....and as the weeks passed he got more and more annoyed. See, the thing is-- Finn knew he was forgetting something important. Someone to be more exact-- because of his music. He’d found whole songs-- that apparently slipped his mind-- whole freaking love songs.  
And Finn didn’t really write love songs.  
He’d never been in love.  
But here he was-- with sickingly beautiful music-- and the word ‘poe’ written in the margins. A song about trading kisses for sweets, and Finn was just....something. He had his guitar at his feet-- he’d thought about playing tonight-- some of the new songs-- but it didn’t feel right for some reason.  
“Do you ever feel like you’re always forgetting something?” Finn asked suddenly. He looked up from his glass. “Like it’s right there-- right on the tip of your tongue-- and all you need is just a nudge in the right direction?”  
Jess stared at him intensely for a long minute. Rey was off getting drinks at the moment.  
“Something or Someone?” She asked a bit ominously....and Finn looked back down at his glass.  
“I don’t know sometimes.” He mutters. Then he sighs, downs the rest of his drink, and stands up. “I’m turning in. Tell Rey I’ll see her later, yeah?”  
Finn picks up his guitar and leaves before Jess can say anything. He passes Maz’ on the way out the door and she’s smoking a cigarette as she winks at him. She’s a tiny old lady from the caribean, and she always seems to know things. Some say she’s a psychic. Some say she’s a witch.  
“Come see me about your little problem tomorrow.” She says in that spooky way of hers...and Finn decides to just...ignore that.  
“See you later Maz.” He says as he saunters out into the cool night. In no particular direction. He whistles to himself-- it’s a nice evening for a stroll. And so Finn strolls. He strolls until he see a familiar cat just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. It’s crooked tail swishing back and forth.  
He tilts his head at it.  
“What are you doing BB-8?” He asks her as she gives him an annoyed look again. She yowls at him.  
_What took you so fucking long?,_ She seems to say and Finn blinks at him.  
“What are you talking abou--?” He begins until he realized he’s standing in front of a shop. Poe’s delights. Oh. Oh fuck. fuck. fuck.  
Poe.  
He stumbles into the shop...or rather-- he stumbles over BB-8 walking into the shop. She’s clawing at his shoes-- his new shoes-- with the bright purple laces with great delight.  
“Will you stop....” Finns says only half annoyed. She appears to be having to much fun for Finn to be to really mad at her. He’ll never admit it out loud...but she is cute. It’s a secret he’ll take to the grave.  
“Finn?”  
Finn’s head snaps up at the sound of Poe’s voice. A grin spreading across his face as he strides to the counter. Poe is-- Finn’s smile falters a bit as he gets a good look at Poe. Poe looks sick-- like really sick. He was always on the thin side, dark rings under his eyes, but now he looks worse.  
Like he hasn’t been eating.  
“You look like shit Poe.” Finn says and immediately wants to jump off a cliff. He settles for lightly banging his head on the counter. Face burning with mortification. Okay. He can fix this.  
He lifts his head off the counter.  
“Hi Poe. You’re the best thing I’ve seen all day.” He says honestly. Because he’s always happy to see Poe-- even when he looks like he needs to sleep for a week and visit a buffet.  
Poe stares at him in disbelief and then snorts.  
“Thanks buddy.” He laughs Then he sobers a bit. There’s a glint in his eye. “So....what are you doing here?”  
Finn blinks and immediately looks in the sweets case. Today...it’s full of cupcakes. Wonderful beautiful cupcakes. He really wants the strawberry one-- it has a HUGE strawberry in the whip cream. He immediately points to it.  
“How much for---” he begins....and then frowns. wait. wait. WAIT. He’s forgetting something. He’s forgetting something crucial. Something he’ll want to stab himself for later. His gaze drops down to Poe’s lips. “ A trade....?”  
A kiss for a sweet.  
Finn grins wolfishly.  
“What’ll you trade for that cupcake?” Finn says playfully as he leans further over the counter. Watches as Poe’s eyes flicker all over him-- settles on his mouth for a long moment. Before flickering behind him thoughtfully. Then he smirks-- and it’s totally sexy-- if a little bit mischievous? evil maybe?  
“A song.” Poe says leaning over the counter to face Finn. “ I’ll trade a song for the cupcake.”  
Evil. Definitely evil.  
“.....I’ll just pay for the cupcake.” Finn says morosely as he reaches for his wallet. Poe’s a tease. A beautiful, evil, tease.  
“Oh c’mon Finn!” Poe suddenly whines. Finn looks up at him suspiciously. “ This is the second time I’ve seen you with that guitar-- and I haven’t heard you play yet. What if I never see you again?”  
The last part sounded a little bit desperate.  
“You will.” Finn promised. He couldn’t tell how he knew it-- but he knew it in his bones. Poe just looked upset--and Finn couldn’t have that. He sighed---the things he did for this man. “How about this? New proposal. A song for a kiss. If I’m gonna humiliate myself in front of you-- I want fair compensation. Sound fair?”  
Poe hesitated for a second. He looked worried for a second.  
“I dunno Finn....” He said uncertainly.  
“Well....I dunno if I can sing then.” Finn said stubbornly. He was not getting cheated out of a kiss two times in a row. Finn was a lot of things--but he wasn’t a fool .”Besides, what’s not to know. You either want to kiss me or you don’t.”  
“It’s not about what I want Finn.” Poe replied just as stubbornly.  
Finn suddenly felt sick.  
“Wait. You don’t want to kiss me?” Finn said abruptly as his back went rigid. “ Why-- why would you--”  
He stared at Poe suspiciously.  
“Is this what you do? You lure unsuspecting young men into your cafe and then torture them mercilessly?” Finn accused Poe as he shook his finger at him. “ Why--just gotdamn Poe!”  
Poe looked taken aback.  
“I lured you in?!” He says incrediously. “ You just keep stumblng into my shop like some handsome, adorable stray cat-- and then charm free food out of me-- you’re worse than BB-8 sometimes. I swear.”  
“You did not just compare me to BB-8.” Finn says suddenly offended.  
“If anyone is being tortured here... it’s me!” Poe accuses pointing angrily at Finn. “ And if we’re asking what I want. I want a free song-- no strings attached-- for emotional compensation.”  
Finn stared at Poe.  
“What. the. hell. Poe.” Finn says slowly. He throws his hands up. “ What about my emotional compensation? I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first saw you-- and then-- here’s the real kicker-- you open Pandora’s box about trading kisses for freaking sweets Poe. And I love sweet things Poe. It’s a win-win. It’s perfect...and then you had to mess it up.....”  
Poe narrows his eyes. Crosses his arms....and stares.  
Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuccccck.  
“Fine!” Finn says giving in. He pulls a stool backwards towards the middle of the shop and takes off his guitar case. He carefully take out his guitar as he settles. He narrows his eyes at Poe. “ And next time-- we’ll deal with my emotional compensation!”  
He sees Poe stiffen.  
“You’ll pay in cookies dammit! Chocolate. Fudge. Sugar. Snickernoodle! All kinds of gotdamn cookies.” He rants at Poe. He squints even harder at Poe. “You’re lucky I’m stupid in love with you.”  
Yeah. Yep. So....he definitely didn’t mean to say that-- but oh, fucking well. He’s irritated enough to just not care about sporadic declarations of love.  
Poe’s eyes widen.  
“Wha-?!” He begins confused.  
“Singing now!” He interrupts as he strums a chord on his guitar. Now he’s just being petty. “Explanations of my feelings are not apart of your emotional compensation package. Should’ve negotiated better!”  
“That’s not fair--!” Poe begins again.  
“Life’s not fair!” Finn sings.  
Yeah, that was actually the first line of the song. He’s didn’t have a title for it yet-- but forgetting the one you love is not fair. Slowly forgetting until next time you meet-- is this what going crazy feels like?  
And yeah-- Finn’s feeling a little raw right now. He’s still not comfortable singing in front of people-- anyone really. He’s only willingly sung for Rey-- and now Poe has coerced it out of him. But Finn would do anything for Poe. Like anything--even baring part of his soul like this.  
So when the song’s over-- he’s itching to run-- because Poe’s silent.  
“So yeah-- that happened.” Finn says as he packs up his guitar quickly. He can’t look at Poe right now-- not with his face burning, and his heart pounding. He’s on emotional overload right now. “ So-- I’ll just be going now--”  
“Don’t. You.Fucking. Dare.” Poe says strangled from behind the counter. Finn looks at him. Poe’s blushing like crazy and his eyes are strangely bright. His voice is hoarse when he says, “ You want that kiss or not?”  
Finn blinks once. twice.  
“HELL YES!” He says excitedly as he stops what he’s doing, jumps the counter, and gets his fucking kiss. He’s not gonna let this deal expire  
Kissing Poe fees a bit like catching fire. The moment their lips meet it’s like something sparks in Finn-- something he didn’t even know existed. There’s nothing gentle about the kiss. Poe’s hands are buried in his hair, and Finn’s arms are tight around his waist. He pulls Poe against him until they’re flush against eachother-- warm and solid.  
And while Finn’s kisses are hungry.....  
Poe’s is hungrier. He’s trembling like he’s freezing.....like there’s winter in his bones.....and Finn’s more than happy to warm him up.  
Poe pulls back slightly....or pushing forward? Finn can’t really tell.  
“.....Buddy....” Poe says pulling back, but his arms are still wrapped tightly around Finn’s neck. He’s not letting go either. “ I think we should slow it down a bit.....”  
Finn stares at him.  
Like hell.  
He answers Poe by kissing the hell out of him, tugging at his wild curls, and slipping his tongue in when he gasps. He kisses Poe like this is the only kiss he’ll ever get-- and Poe kisses him like a man dying of thirst in desert and Finn is bottomless glass of water.  
Finn kisses Poe until he feels the spark grow into a bonfire in him, and Poe trembles even harder. Lifts his leg and hooks it around Finn’s waist-- and then the kiss changes. Finn feels like a hook has been sunk deep into him as Poe clamps his lips around his and sucks--  
and then there’s pain--  
And then darkness.  
And then he passes out.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Goddess.....can't believe I posted this.


End file.
